Total found: 6857
#myself
A friend: What book haven't you read yet?Me: I'm not sure. I have read the Percy Jackson series or Mortal Instrument series in a whil--Friend: I mean, like, a book you haven't read at all.Me: Oh. I'm not sure then, let me get back to you after I finish this six-book series.-- Me.
A Gentlemen
laughing is good. so long as you are not insulting anyone.
A. Jarrell Hayes
Give a poet a pen
A. Lee Martinez
Judy went back to Paulie's place, but either he wasn't home or he wasn't answering his door. After banging on the door for four minutes, then waiting another ten, she decided she'd probably have to find someplace else to crash today She wished she'd taken the time to actually have a few friends.
A. White
Nothing makes sense, not that much of the world ever did. Quote from the book: UnHoly Pursuit: The Devil on My Trail.
A. Whitney Brown
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
A. Whitney Brown
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
A. Whitney Brown
I never joined, but I used to go to church now and then. I liked it, because they always passed out plates of money at the end.
A.A. Milne
No brain at all, some of them [people], only grey fluff that's blown into their heads by mistake, and they don't Think.
A.A. Milne
Oh, Eeyore, you are wet! said Piglet, feeling him. Eeyore shook himself, and asked somebody to explain to Piglet what happened when you had been inside a river for quite a long time.
A.A. Milne
How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
A.A. Milne
Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake.
A.A. Milne
Oh Tigger, where are your manners?I don't know, but I bet they're having more fun than I am.
A.A. Milne
It's snowing still, said Eeyore gloomily.So it is.And freezing.Is it?Yes, said Eeyore. However, he said, brightening up a little, we haven't had an earthquake lately.
A.A. Milne
Think, think, think.
A.A. Milne
But Piglet is so small that he slips into a pocket, where it is very comfortable to feel him when you are not quite sure whether twice seven is twelve or twenty-two.
A.A. Milne
Tut, Tut, looks like rain
A.A. Milne
Some have brains, and some haven't, ... and there it is.
A.A. Milne
I might have known, said Eeyore. After all, one can't complain. I have my friends. Somebody spoke to me only yesterday. And was it last week or the week before that Rabbit bumped into me and said 'Bother!'. The Social Round. Always something going on.
A.A. Milne
A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.
A.A. Milne
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
A.A. Milne
On Wednesday, when the sky is blue,and I have nothing else to do,I sometimes wonder if it's true That who is what and what is who. - Winnie-the-Pooh
A.A. Milne
Rabbit's clever, said Pooh thoughtfully.Yes, said Piglet, Rabbit's clever.And he has Brain.Yes, said Piglet, Rabbit has Brain.There was a long silence.I suppose, said Pooh, that that's why he never understands anything.
A.A. Milne
Pooh, said Rabbit kindly, you haven't any brain. I know, said Pooh humbly.
A.C. Gaughen
You are my whole heart, Scarlet. And this is breaking it.'My heart cracked open and clear dropped out of me. My mouth opened, and I looked round me and stamped my foot. 'Does this look like a good time to tell me that, you damn stupid boy?' I meant to sound mean but my voice wobbled. 'Now?'He gave a little smile. 'My foul-mouthed warrior.
A.G. Phillips
Peace cannot be achieved; they have to be plucked out of their pod.
A.J. Beirens
The main causes for divorceare marriages.
A.J. Beirens
Did god make man too perfect,So that a piece has to be removedthrough circumcision?
A.J. Beirens
On the sixth day god created man,on the seventh day man created god.Now we are even.
A.J. Jacobs
My reading list grows exponentially. Every time I read a book, it'll mention three other books I feel I have to read. It's like a particularly relentless series of pop-up ads.
A.J. Jacobs
I can't help but notice that you keep writing love poetry to my wife. Well, you see, I married her, which makes her my wife. You know what you might want to try? Writing some poems about the sunset. The sunset isn't fucking married.
A.M. Jenkins
An eternity of wishing to speak directly to my Creator - I thought in despair - and this is how He finally contacts me? Through AOL Instant Messenger?
A.S. King
I was also built from delusional optimism and folly.
Aaron Sorkin
I love writing, but hate starting. The page is awfully white and it says, 'You may have fooled some of the people some of the time but those days are over, Giftless. I'm not your agent and I'm not your mommy: I'm a white piece of paper. You wanna dance with me?' and I really, really don't. I'll go peaceable-like.
Abbi Waxman
He looked at me thoughtfully, and smiled slowly, his green eyes warm. He smelled of the outdoors, he was so tall and broad shouldered and so ... male ... in this house of women he was shockingly different. All I could think of was how much I wanted to kiss him. I was clearly losing my mind.
Abby McDonald
See Kayla links her arm through mine, leaving Blake to jostle and race the other guys. I tell them I can handle my own stuff, but it's like a mark of pride or something. I'm surprised Blake doesn't just hoist me over his shoulder and try to carry me, too!I laugh, starting to relax. Is it bad I can actually picture that?
Abby Shanley
Sometimes people hate you. Just hate them back.
Abby Slovin
Fact is just fiction with different storytellers
Abby Slovin
The smell of burning firewood and the molding of organic, earthy substances reminded her of jumping wildly into the enormous leaf piles of autumns past and she suddenly wished that it was appropriate for someone her age to do such a thing.
Abby Slovin
Parker, I'm old, She said matter-of-factly. I get away with these things. She continued to wave and smile wildly. People treat me like an idiot so I'm allowed to act like one from time to time. It's one of the perks.
Abdul Sattar Edhi
So, many years later there were many who still complained and questioned, 'Why must you pick up Christians and Hindus in your ambulance?' And I was saying, 'Because the ambulance is more Muslim than you'.
Abigail Gibbs
Can you enter a house uninvited?No.Why?That would be rude.
Abigail Thomas
For better or for worse, but not for lunch,...
Abraham Lincoln
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Abraham Lincoln
The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them.
Abraham Lincoln
No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
Ace Antonio Hall
Premeditated anger is a bitch. Instead of saying, Next time he does this, I will ... , say, Next time he does that, I will show him more patience and more love. That's premeditative love. She's much sexier!
Adam Carolla
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, 'Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.'
Adam Clayton Powell III
I try to make my comments like a woman's skirt: long enough to be respectable and short enough to be interesting.
Adam Clymer
Democratic politicians have disliked things I've written, Republican politicians... if they all love you, you might as well be driving a Good Humor truck.
Adam Maxwell
Lucas took a tentative sip of his coffee. It tasted like an otter had pissed in a tea urn and it had been left to go stale over a prolonged period.
Adam Rex
We could have made it to the Arizona border in a few more hours if we hadn't been distracting each other with stupid little arguments. Don't get me wrong; I liked J.Lo fine. I've made that bed. But I'm not sure there's a person in the world I could be with twenty-four hours a day for three weeks without getting a little snippy. If I ever meet such a person, I'm marrying them.
Adam Smith
Poor David Hume is dying fast, but with more real cheerfulness and good humor and with more real resignation to the necessary course of things, than any whining Christian ever dyed with pretended resignation to the will of God.
Addison Moore
You taste like sugar, he pants through a smile, still out of breath.Somehow I doubt that. But I appreciate the thought.
Aeschylus
It is in the character of very few men to honor without envy a friend who has prospered.
Aesop
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
Agatha Christie
Vous eprouves trop d'emotion, Hastings, It affects your hands and your wits. Is that a way to fold a coat? And regard what you have done to my pyjamas. If the hairwash breaks what will befall them?''Good heavens, Poirot,' I cried, 'this is a matter of life and death. What does it matter what happens to our clothes?''You have no sense of proportion Hastings. We cannot catch a train earlier than the time that it leaves, and to ruin one's clothes will not be the least helpful in preventing a murder.
Agatha Christie
Use that fluff of yours you call a brain.
Agatha Christie
Bottled, was he? Said Colonel Bantry, with an Englishman's sympathy for alcoholic excess. Oh, well, can't judge a fellow by what he does when he's drunk? When I was at Cambridge, I remember I put a certain utensil - well - well, nevermind.
Agatha Christie
No, my friend, I am not drunk. I have just been to the dentist, and need not return for another six months! Is it not the most beautiful thought?--Poirot
Agatha Christie
The amount of women you hear say, If Donald
Agatha Christie
You don't appreciate a faithful husband when you've got one,' said Tommy.'All my friends tell me you never know with husbands,' said Tuppance.'You have the wrong kind of friends,' said Tommy.
Agatha Christie
Poirot, I said. I have been thinking.An admirable exercise my friend. Continue it.
Agnes Repplier
Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.
Agnes Repplier
Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.
Ahmed Mostafa
There's something infinitely fascinating or fatal about a woman behind the wheel.
Al Franken
Today I will masterbate!Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written Today I will masterbate--if I want to!
Al Yankovic
It's hard to force creativity and humor.
Al Yankovic
One of my pet peeves is that sometimes the talents of my band get overlooked because, and it was the same problem that Frank Zappa had, with a lot of groups that use humor, people don't realize there's a lot of craft behind the comedy.
Alan Beattie
The only real recourse that [Russian] people had against tsarist rule was violence and rebellion. It was once remarked that Russia's constitution was absolutism moderated by assassination.
Alan Bennett
How do I define history? It's just one fucking thing after another
Alan Bradley
Anyone who knew the word slattern was worth cultivating as a friend.
Alan Bradley
I remembered that Beethoven's symphonies had sometimes been given names... they should have call [the Fifth] the Vampire, because it simply refused to lie down and die.
Alan Bradley
I am often thought of as being remarkably bright, and yet my brains, more often than not, are busily devising new and interesting ways of bringing my enemies to sudden, gagging, writhing, agonizing death.
Alan Bradley
I visualized myself pulling on my mental thinking cap, jamming it down around my ears as I had taught myself to do. It was a tall, conical wizard's model, covered with chemical equations and formulae: a cornucopia of ideas.
Alan Kay
I don't know how many of you have ever met Dijkstra, but you probably know that arrogance in computer science is measured in nano-Dijkstras.
Alan Moore
Evey Hammond: Who are you? V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask. Evey Hammond: Well I can see that. V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is
Alan Thicke
There are psychological repercussions to illness and we need a little more help to get through the effects not only on the afflicted but on the family. And I think there's even a place for humor in that.
Alan Thicke
If one tends to be a humorous person and you have a sense of humor the rest of your life then you can certainly lighten the load, I think, by bringing that to your trials and tribulations. It's easy to have a sense of humor when everything is going well.
Alan W. Watts
Not long ago Congress voted, with much patriotic rhetoric, for the imposition of severe penalties upon anyone presuming to burn the flag of the United States. Yet the very Congressmen who passed this law are responsible, by acts of commission or omission, for burning, polluting, and plundering the territory that the flag is supposed to represent. Therein, they exemplified the peculiar andperhaps fatal fallacy of civilization: the confusion of symbol with reality.
Alana Massey
I decided that being called crazy by a man was not an insult but a challenge. It gives the woman an opportunity to say, Crazy? Oh, I'll show you fucking crazy.
Alanis Morissette
Down the road, I'll probably have a kid or two or three. And there will probably be political events or spiritual things to comment on, and humor.
Alanis Morissette
In my opinion, I think sarcasm and humor in a song, without turning it into a novelty song, is really charming.
Alaric Hutchinson
Be aware of the type of humor you use in your daily life. Just because people are laughing doesn't mean it is creating positive vibes.
Alastair Reynolds
How did you . . . pass the time?' Sunday asked. 'You couldn't just ching out of it, could you?''We had a different form of chinging,' Eunice said. 'An earlier type of virtual-reality technology, much more robust and completely unaffected by time lag. You may have heard of it. We called it reading.
Albert Brooks
I can't not put humor in a book.
Albert Camus
I feel like getting married, or committing suicide, or subscribing to L'Illustration. Something desperate, you know.
Albert Camus
If something is going to happen to me, I want to be there.
Albert Einstein
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Albert Einstein
It is harder to crack prejudice than an atom.
Albert Einstein
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Albert Einstein
Even on the most solemn occasions I got away without wearing socks and hid that lack of civilization in high boots
Albert Einstein
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein
I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking
Albert Einstein
Student: Dr. Einstein, Aren't these the same questions as last year's [physics] final exam?Dr. Einstein: Yes; But this year the answers are different.
Albert Einstein
Never memorize something that you can look up.
Albert Einstein
You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
Albert Einstein
An empty stomach is not a good political adviser.
Albert Einstein
When I was young I found out that the big toe always ends up making a hole in a sock.So I stopped wearing socks.
Albert Hofmann
I know LSD; I don't need to take it anymore. Maybe when I die, like Aldous Huxley.
Alecia Whitaker
Obsessing over a boy makes the time fly.
Aleister Crowley
Don't talk for five minutes, there's a good chap! I've a strange feeling come over me--almost as if I were going to think!
Aleister Crowley
May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall!
Aleister Crowley
I'm a poet, and I like my lies the way my mother used to make them.
Alex Gabriel
The West Sister Dating Rules were clear on the matter of apologies. On the evolutionary scale of dating, a guy who apologized solely for the sake of ending the argument and getting back into your good graces was on the level of primeval slime
Alex Gabriel
I saved you, Andersen said at last, slowly but firmly, like Pat was an idiot child who had to be reminded of the basic rules of the universe. To wit: Gravity exists. Time purports to flow in a linear fashion, but it's only trying to fool us. I saved you.
Alex Gabriel
The West Sister Dating Rules were clear on the matter of apologies. On the evolutionary scale of dating, a guy who apologized solely for the sake of ending the argument and getting back into your good graces was on the level of primeval slime
Alex Gaskarth
Life's greatest tragedy is not that it will someday end, but that most only live to follow directions and sometimes we end up totally lost.
Alex Gino
Artists are never appreciated at lunchtime, Kelly mumbled as she stuffed her camera into her pocket.
Alex Levine
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Alex Morritt
Casting a curious gaze down on planet Earth, extra-terrestrial beings could well be forgiven for assuming that we humans are programmed in every move we make, by a palm-sized, oblong, slab of glass. More perplexing than that, who on earth could convince them otherwise ?
Alexander Gordon Smith
Knackered inmates are easier to control than pumped-up ones. And dead inmates are even easier to control, if you follow me.
Alexander Payne
I get asked, 'How can you have such failures in your films?' Well, what else is life about? There's some sense of constant failure in something. Humor gives you a distance from it.
Alexander Pope
Wit is the lowest form of humor.
Alexander Theroux
Will I have to use a dictionary to read your book? asked Mrs. Dodypol. It depends, says I, how much you used the dictionary before you read it.
Alexandra Adornetto
If you're worried about safety, you might like to follow my example and put on that seat belt.The what?Xavier shook his head in disbelief.You worry me, he muttered.
Alexandra Adornetto
Oh, man, Xavier groaned. See what you've done--now I'm stressing.You can't! You're the stable one!Xavier laughed and I realized his distress had been feigned to illustrate a point. He wasn't worried in the slightest.Just relax. Go and run a bath or have a shot of brandy.Okay.That second bit was a joke. We both know you can't hold your liquor.
Alexandra Adornetto
Molly: So how do you think of Bryce Hamilton crowd so far? Boys hot enough for you?Bethany: I wouldn't say hot. Most of them seem to have a normal body temperature.
Alexandra Adornetto
I have church on Sunday.Of course you do.You're welcome to come along.Thanks, but I'm allergic to incense.That's a shame.It's the bane of my existence.- Beth and Jake
Alexandra Adornetto
Sit, Phantom! Ivy cooed. On your bottom!Oh, for goodness' sake! Gabriel put down his book and pointed a longer finger at Phantom. Sit, he commanded in a deep voice. Phantom looked sheepish and sank straight to the floor.Ivy scowled in frustration. I've been trying to get him to do that all day! What is it with dogs and male authority?
Alexandra Bracken
...crackers... a voice breathed out nehind us, yesss...Both of us turned, watching as Chubs twisted around in his seat and settled back down, still fast asleep. I pressed a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing. Liam rolled his eyes, smiling. He dreams about food, he said. A lot.
Alexandra Bracken
Let's carpe the hell out of this diem.
Alexandra Bracken
You wanna go build some shelves with me?
Alexandra Bracken
I hugged him without any kind of fear or self-consciousness, fiercely, with a rush of emotion that almost brought tears to my eyes.I could kiss you! Chubs cried.Please don't! I gasp out, feeling his arms tighten around my ribs to the point of cracking them.
Alexandra Potter
Forget men, I want to marry my MacBook. It's dependable, reliable and you can even go shopping with it.
Alexandre Dumas
How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it
Alexandre Dumas
My dear fellow Said Albert, turning to Franz here is an admirable adventure; we will fill our carriage with pistols, blunderbusses, and double-barreled shotguns. Luigi Vampa comes to take us, and we take him - we bring him back to Rome , and present him to him holiness the Pope, who asks how he can repay so great a service; Then we merely ask for a cariage and a pair of horses, and we will see the Carnival in the carriage , and doubtless the Roman people will crown us at the capitol , and proclaim us, like Curtius and the veiled Horatius, the preservers of there country. Whilst Albert proposed this scheme, signor Pastrini's face assumed an expression impossible to describe.
Alfred Hitchcock
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
Alfred Hitchcock
Revenge is sweet and not fattening.
Alfred Hitchcock
Puns are the highest form of literature.
Alfred North Whitehead
The total absence of humor from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all literature.
Ali Shariati
My father chose my name , and my last name was chosen by my ancestors . That's enough, I myself choose my way
Ali Shariati
I like Dancing of Indian girls more than my parents' prayers . Because they dance with love and passion . But my parents just say their prayers because they got used to it .
Ali Shariati
Hey, I am thinking of it myself, in this part of world (East), we all do endeavors in praying and are sweating (white liquid) and this is our situation, frustrated , but on the other part of world (West) ,they are enjoying in party and drinking liquor (white liquid) but their situation is that, successful, I do not know that the problem relates to the type of liquid or the way of drinking!!
Ali Sparkes
Good plan, Freddy was saying. Let's get some decent sleep. Tomorrow we can shake our gravy asses into town and do some sluething.
Alice Hoffman
Unrequited love is so boring. Weeping under a blue-black sky is for suckers or maniacs.
Alice Meynell
The sense of humor has other things to do than to make itself conspicuous in the act of laughter.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody come sit next to me.
Alisa Steinberg
There's a cover for every pot, but I've never seen so many mismatched pots and covers in all my life. - Ellen Wasserfeldman, from Notes from Ellen Wasserfeldman by Alisa Dana Steinberg
Alisha Rai
Can you…make it different this time?Different, how?Different position, different…something. I want to learn it all.Whoa, pressure. When Maira's genius brain wanted to learn something, she really applied herself.
Alisha Rai
While he'd been tentatively considering a possible romantic relationship with her, she'd fallen in love with him.He could barely speak. Why didn't you tell me?Mason snorted. Yeah, that's right. Do you like Maira, check yes or no. Come on. You're almost thirty, you're old enough to go after what you want.
Alisha Rai
What are you doing?What does it look like? I'm getting down on my knees.His head butted against her stomach. Her muscles clenched, shocked at the touch, even through the layer of cotton.I've never begged a woman for anything before. Enjoy this.She tried to think of something sufficiently sassy. Enjoy it? I can't even see it.It's symbolic.
Alisha Rai
In the deepest, darkest depths of her heart where she kept all her dreams locked up in a pink journal decorated with ponies and unicorns, she'd fantasized about declaring her love for Sasha Karimi for two years. In those scenarios, he generally fell to his knees in thrilled delight before he reciprocated the feelings and then they got married and had lots of babies and maybe a pet iguana and lived happily ever after.
Alisha Rai
Let's not get started on their uniforms. Superman's stretchy spandex has nothing on Batman's sculpted pecs.He glared at her. You cannot bring fashion sense into a superhero discussion!If they wear it, it's fair game. She folded her arms on the table.
Alisha Rai
She'd rather make love to him then watch any movie. We don't have to. Did I do something wrong?That made him turn to her. Of course not.Oh. Then don't you want to… She trailed off, a blush rising.Are you kidding me? More than anything. His expression softened. But, Maira, I don't want to rush you, make you do something you aren't ready for.She stared at him. He was so pretty. Was he also stone-cold stupid?How could he think she wasn't ready for it? She'd already thrown herself at him. Twice now, if he counted the kitchen disaster.
Alison
Its Batteries! I just know it!
Alison Croggon
By the light, he said, when he had mastered himself. I think that beats singing a lullaby to a stormdog for simplicity and economy, Maerad. But I wish I had known that you simply had to blow at Hulls to get rid of them. It would have saved me a few scars.
Allan Amanyire
History, Geology, Psychology, Philosophy, Chemistry, Physics, Theology, Mathematics, Technology, Sociology, Biology, and the list goes on and on. If all this body of knowledge exist for human consumption, why would I specialize in only one field?
Allan Wolf
Thank God (my wife) and I were both born poorso the concept of fidelity was allowed to take root in us.
Allen Ginsberg
Just because I like to suck cock doesn't make me any less American than Jesse Helms.
Allen Ginsberg
I really believe, or want to believe, really I am nuts, otherwise I'll never be sane.
Allen Klein
Whether planned or not, humor takes our mind off of our troubles.
Allen Klein
Throughout history, great leaders have known the power of humor.
Allen Klein
Humor expands our limited picture frame and gets us to see more than just our problem.
Allen Klein
A little perspective, like a little humor, goes a long way.
Allen Klein
Any attempts at humor immediately after September 11th were deemed tasteless.
Allen Klein
You may not be able to change a situation, but with humor you can change your attitude about it.
Allen Klein
Humor can be one of our best survival tools.
Allen Klein
Advertisers also know that humor can help bond us to their product.
Allen Klein
Your attitude is like a box of crayons that color your world. Constantly color your picture gray, and your picture will always be bleak. Try adding some bright colors to the picture by including humor, and your picture begins to lighten up.
Allen Klein
Since the goal of my programs is to show audiences how humor can both help them heal as well as deal with not-so-funny stuff, I decided to discuss the events of the previous week, the pain all of us were feeling, and how humor and some laughter might be beneficial.
Allen Klein
Today's business and health care climate may not be pleasant. Cutbacks, pay cuts and layoffs do not make anyone's job easy. But that does not mean that the humor need stop.
Allen Klein
Laughter, and the broader category of humor, are key elements in helping us go on with our life after a loss.
Allen Klein
Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger.
Allen Klein
In looking for humor, keep in mind this guideline: Sometimes it takes a little time to see the humor in your upsets you may not find something to laugh about immediately.
Allen Klein
Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.
Allen Klein
When you do find humor in trying times, one of the first and most important changes you experience is that you see your perplexing problems in a new way - you suddenly have a new perspective on them.
Allen Klein
Humor can help you cope with the unbearable so that you can stay on the bright side of things until the bright side actually comes along.
Allen Klein
When we are dealing with death we are constantly being dragged down by the event: Humor diverts our attention and lifts our sagging spirits.
Allen Klein
Sometimes it takes ten seconds to see some humor in your dilemmas, sometimes ten years.
Allen Klein
When we can find some humor in our upsets, they no longer seem as large or as important as they once did.
Allie Brosh
On a fundamental level, I am someone who would throw sand at children.
Allie Brosh
But when you're concerned that the miserable, boring wasteland in front of you might stretch all the way into forever, not knowing feels strangely hope-like.
Ally Carter
If you ever put a student at this school in danger again-''Oh, I thought you Gallagher Girls were immune to danger.'Despite the hundred girls the filled the foyer, no one moved or gasped or tried to defend our honor. We stood silently, waiting for our headmistress to say, 'Oh, we are quite used to being underestimated, Agent Townsend. In fact, we welcome it.
Ally Carter
Unusual financial activity: none, unless you count the fact that someone in the family is way too into Civil War biographies. (Can this be a possible indication of Confederate insurgents still living and working in Virginia? Must research further.)
Ally Carter
So I hear we get to go to town this weekend. Want to catch a movie or something?--ZP.S. That is, if Jimmy doesn't mind.Translation: This weekend might be a good chance for us to see each other outside our school in a social environment, free of competetiton. I do not view other boys as threats, and I enjoy making them seem insignificant by calling them the wrong names. (Translation by Macey McHenry)
Ally Carter
Ooh..I want one - BexThey're not puppies. -Cammie
Ally Carter
She'd absolutely adored the library_an entire building where anyone could take things they didn't own and feel no remorse about it.
Ally Carter
Number of empty Ben & Jerry's containers: 3 -- two mint chocolate cookie, one plain vanilla. (Who buys plain vanilla ice cream from Ben & Jerry's, anyway? Is there a greater waste?)
Ally Carter
You don't need a search warrant to go through someone's trash. Seriously. Once it hits the curb it is totally fair game-you an look it up.
Ally Carter
You can't really yell at your boyfriend for stealing your seat and your best friend. You also can't yell at your best friend for stealing your boyfriend. Or you can…but Hi seemed like a much easier way to start the morning.
Ally Carter
I think it's kinda nice.' And I did. my mom isn't famous for her pies. No, she's famous for defusing a nuclear device in Brussels with only a pair of cuticle scissors and a ponytail holder. Somehow, at the moment, pies seemed cooler.
Ally Carter
So far Kat has been through all the Wa's she could think of, but Hale hadn't admitted to being Walter or Ward or Washington. He'd firmly denied both Warren and Waverly. Watson had prompted him to do a very bad Sherlock Holmes impersonation throughout a good portion of a train ride to Edinburgh, Scotland. And Wayne seemed so wrong she hadn't even tried.Hale was Hale. And not knowing what the W's stood for had become a constant reminder to Kat that, in life, there are some things that can be given but never stolen.Of course, that didn't stop her from trying.
Ally Carter
'Tell Suzie she's a lucky cat.' Have sexier words ever been spoken?
Ally Carter
You look disappointed to see me, Zach, Macey teased. Don't you like my jacket?
Ally Carter
Hale. Kat sighed. The headmaster's car? Really? That's not to cliched for you?What can I say? He shrugged. I'm an old-fashioned guy. Besides, it's a classic for a reason. He leaned against the window. It's good to see you, Kat.Kat didn't know what to say. It's good to see you, too? Thanks for getting me kicked out? Is it possible you've gotten even hotter? I think I might have missed you?
Ally Condie
Isn't it funny how the memories you cherish before a breakup can become your worst enemies afterwards? The thoughts you loved to think about, the memories you wanted to hold up to the light and view from every angle--it suddenly seems a lot safer to lock them in a box, far from the light of day and throw away the key. It's not an act of bitterness. It's an act if self-preservation. It's not always a bad idea to stay behind the window and look out at life instead, is it?
Alton Brown
I love poking fun at myself. I have a rather mean sense of humor.
Alwyn Hamilton
You know, I never believed in fate until I met you... then I started thinking coincidence didn't have near so cruel a sense of humor
Alyson Noel
Close your eyes and picture it. Can you see it?I nod, eyes closed.Imagine it right there before you. See its texture, shape, and color
Alyxandra Harvey
Why are you limping like that?' Nicholas demanded.'I'm swaggering,' I informed him.'You look like you're wearing a diaper.'Charming. And I had a crush on this guy.Wait. I had a crush on this guy?'Now what?' he asked. 'You're making weird faces.''Nothing,' I said quickly. 'Never mind.
Amanda Grange
It is possible to compromise in certain areas when choosing a partner for life, but never on a cravat.
Amanda Howells
In those moments it's hard to remember that an angry voice is an invisible thing incapable of drawing blood.
Amanda Stephan
I will call Guido if i need to
Amber Tamblyn
I liked the humor of it, I've always enjoyed a sense of humor in God and in religion and in spirituality.
Ambrose Bierce
Inhumanity, n. One of the signal and characteristic qualities of humanity.
Ambrose Bierce
Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
Ambrose Bierce
Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
Ambrose Bierce
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
Ambrose Bierce
Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.